Potrek-E Pendidikan Jombang?

Cak Nas*)

”Awak peno dikon setor potret iko, wis ta?”

“Gae opo setor potrek barang. Aku wis gak cekel gae. Dadi pamong ae yo kok lereni ngunu lho, Sut.”

“Iki jalukane pengurus koperasi. Jare peno ngajokno utang-utangan, Man Gondo?”

”Eruh ae koen iku. Tapi opo hubungane utang karo  potrek? Nek telat ta gak nyaur, cek dipasang nduk dalan-dalan. Diumumno kilo ptreke wong sing gak nyaur…”

”Yo gak ngunu, Man. Cumak digawe dokumentasi. Sak joke dadi anggota, peno durung tau setor potret. Mosok nduk buku daftar anggota, potret peno thok sing kosong.”

”Lho nek onok reja-rejane jaman, potret peno dideloki buyut-canggah peno lan kanca-kancane. Kilo canggahku sing biyen terkenal dadi aktor besutan-ludruk.”

”Ngunu ta Sut? Man Gondo, punggawa tonil kit jamane Londo….”

”Wateke persis bangsa kolonial Londo, tukang ancur-ancur.”

”Lho pol-polane ngejrotno pamanmu dhewe…”

”Sepurane guyon.”

”Kilo Man Gondo, tak gawakno potrek peno. ”

”Lho Mo, Sumo Gambar. Atuk endi koen oleh potrekku.”

”Akeh, Man. Pol-dhompol.”

”Potrek kok dhompolan? Ngerti ta gak awakmu?”

”Potrek lak padha karo pengilan se, Man. Lha nek peno ngilo, yo ngene iki gambar peno.”

”Endi?”

”Lha iki.”

”Koen iku tau sekolah tak se, Mo? Sinmg kok gowo iku opo?”

”Potrek peno. Peno lok-delok sak tuwuke.”

”Iku pace, wohe wit kudu. ”

”Lha yo, Man Gondo.”

”jaremu potrek?”

”Lha yo, nek peno kepingin ruh prejengan peno, yo koyok pace iki.”

”Kurang ajar, burik ngene kok padhakno aku.”

”Lha iku, akeh tul-tul ireng nduk wajah peno.”

”Kabeh wog tuwek yo metu ireng tul-tul ngene iki.”

”Gak iku thok Man Gondo. Kelakuan peno yo lorek kabeh.”

”Kurang ajar. Arek gak tau ngrogo jithok. Lha nek potrekkuku kok padhakno pace. Lha awakmu iku opo? Pace bosok runtuh nang teleke kebo.”

”Ha ha ha… Ojo ring-muring, Man Gondo.”

”Lambemu ojok ngawur. Aku ngantek koyok ngene iki lak katut bethithetmu. Ngelokno wong tuwek sak enake dhewe, gak ngilo disik.”

”Enten mawon ndiko kekalih niki, Man.”

”Kebacut Dik Guru. Wong tuwek digawe dulinan.”

”Wis-wis Man, Cak Sumo. Ojok diterusno. Isin karo gurune arek-arek, anak putu peno.”

”Nek potreke ndunyane didik-mendidik yoopo Dik Guru?”

”Nggih mboten tebih kaleh pace. Burik nggihan.”

”Pace nggandhol nopo pace bosok?”

”Nggih tasik nggandhol, tapi pun meh bosok.”

”Waduh jok nopo nalare?”

”Blegere pendidikan niku lak ibarate raksasa. Lha nek urusan lintune nggih cilik koyok lumrahe. Ngitung personile mawon pun gedhek-gedhek. Guru thok mawon puluhan ewu, dereng kantor lan staf kependidikane. Niku thok mawon masalahe sak mbrek, gak entek-entek. Nek dines liyane padha karo mikul 40 kilo, tapi dines pendidikan ibarate mikul sak ton. Prosentase masalah 10%, nduk dines liyane iso cumak 10 masalah, tapi nduk dines pendidikan iso 1.000 masalah.”

”Lho, lho, lho kok ngoten, Dik Guru.”

”Nggih ancene ngoten. Dados nek kepalane gak meh sak kelase Samson ta Sunan Kalijaga, yo mesthi munting. Masio stafe PNS thok, tetep angel ngatur. Jels-jelas pas sumpah dadi PNS wajib bersedia didhekek nduk endi ae, tapi nek dimutasi nang Wonosalam, Plandaan, Kabuh,  ta Ngusikan yo njememeng. Protes, nggremeng koyok Pahlawan Krinan.”

”Mosok se Dik Guru? Njaluk dipindah nang Papua bekne.”

”Nggih mboten ngoten. Saking jengkele, kadang malah digawe guyon gak temenan, gae weden-wedenan.  Bolo Ngusikan, Wonosalam, Plandaan yo dadi melok gregeten, anggite sak elek-eleke wong bekne sing nyambut gawe nduk nggon mencil? Padahal prestasi durung mesti ketlenyek, akreditasi yo gak mesti mbiyek. Malah sekolah kutha akreditasi B, sing kepencil malah iso A.”

”Nggih ta Dik Guru?”

”Nggih. Umpomo diarani petreke pendidikan Jombang niku burik, nggih roto koyok burike pace. Tapi nggih, sak kathah-kathahe irenge, tak kathah sanget putihe. Nek ningali guru mawon. Sing kinerjane kirang sae nggih mboten wonten seprapate sing normal. Lha nek pados sing jos nggih mboten gampil. Kadhang nek sing se malah diarani nggolek lem, ngathok, lan sak piturute.”

”Sampek ngoten Nggih?”

”Isine ndunyo Man. Dereng nek njlimeti tuntutan kinerja guru. Beban administrasi nek dereng nyadari nggih awrat. Sing kalah mulange. Gupuh gae perangkat mulang, ngurbanno mulange, malih mboten optimal. Kroso abot soale semangat nyambutgawene kirang, karep belajare endhek, budaya maca-nulise meh mboten enten. Dikandhani nek mlagiat, pek-pinek tulisane wong iku duso, yo gak ngreken. Lali bekne, kyai njukuk slilit nduk pagere tanggane tanpa kandha ae langsung neraka. Padhalan penggaweane mimpin dungo. Opo maneh mlagiat.”

”Alah Dik Guru, niru karangane liyan kan gak kalong. Mosok duso?”

”Umpami garwa Njenengan, Bik Tonah, dipotret Man Gondo terus awan bengi diambungi Man Gondho, yok nopo?”

”Tak clurit.”

”Wong garwa Njenengan mboten kalong mawon. Kan cumak potreke?”

”Masio bojoku ger-meger nduk omah, tetep gak trima aku, nek potreke diambungi Man Gondho utawa Besut.”

”Lalar gawe se Caing memeti nek onok Rusmini, lak awak peno. Padahal jelas-jelas Rusmini bojoku, yo Bu Lurah peno.”

”Lha kok awakmu gak ring-muring?”

”Yo sing waras ngalah. Tak anggep peno separo luwih thithik.”

”Maksudmu?”

”Gak patek bek.”

”Pun Pak Lurah, Man Sumo.”

”Bendher Pak Guru iki. Nek duduk hake, yo ojok diapak-apakno nek durung oleh ijin sing nduwe.”

”Nggih Pak Lurah Besut.”

”Nek nandur kaapikan, wohe yo kaapikan. Nek nandur kaelekan, wohe yo kaelekan. Nek durung panen nduk ndunyo yo nduk akherat.”

”Leres Pak Lurah. Masalah niki mawon, kulo nggih setengah setuju setengah mboten setuju.”

”Masalah nopo, Dik?”

”TPP lak kajenge dindek. Mboten patek setuju niku lha perencanaan ekonomi guru kadung mlampah. Kridit mblader, lha yok nopo nyaure. Mangke mesthi kathah guru dindek nduk tengah dalan kalih Juru Tagih. Sing kadhung didamel Kaji –Umrah mawon diken mbalekaken. Duwik kadung enthek. Lucune bidhal kaji sak derenge oleh TPP yo ditagih. Kate protes iki urusan ibadah, mundhak gak ikhlas.”

”Lho lho sampek sak monten. Nggih dirembug mawon, pun kathik protes. Cek kepanggih nalare.”

”Kuatir kulo kadhos Kurikulum 2013. Dindek nduk tengah dalan, akhire mangkrak. Sing balik nang Kurikulum KTSP yo bingung.  Wali Kelas nggarap rapot yo bingung. Sing terus ndamel K-13 nggih tambanh bingung, petunjuke dereng tuntas, dikon ngrayah-grayah dhewe. Engkon nek salah dilokno.”

”Lha  setengah setujune yok nopo?”

”Lha pemrentah bab TPP niku lak ngedalaken biaya gak karuan kathahe. Guru Sertifikasi bayarane meh dobel, lipat kalih. Tapi sebagian kinerjane pancet koyok lawas. Lha lak padha keleh maem gaji buta. Mboten cumak mulange ten kelas, sampek persyaratan liyane kathah sing awu-awu. Niki lak mubadzir nasional. Kepalak ditambahno anggarane SD/MI, SMP/MTs, SMA/SMK/MA.”

”Lho sekolah lak pun angsal BOS lan liyane?”

”Sakaken Kepala Sekolah lan jajarene. Njeber anggaran, tetep kirang. Dana BOS wonten, tapi digawe iki digawe iko gak oleh.  Pol-polane wedi thok.  Narik wali murid nggih gak gampang. Lha yok nopo ajenge majukno sekolahan. Pertemuan wali murid mawon kadhang mboten saget nyuguhi ngombe. Isin jane, tapi timbangane tambah dowo masalahe, yo njaluk sepuro ae.”

”Ngetek sak monten nggih Dik Guru.”

”Dapak ngoten. Sak niki malah thithik-thithik diinvestigasi, diplothoti. Nek sing mlothoti petugas Inspektorat, BPK, ta KPK gak masalah; ancene tugase. Sing akeh sing moro, gak jelas sopo, takone ngalahno petugas; pol-polane njaluk sangu. Duwik wis cupet,  tapi gak ngekeki gak enak, mora-moro ae. Kathik ditakoni, untunge duduk bolo Jombang. Nek bolo Jombang ruh sorone dadi kepolo jaman saiki.”

”Lha yok nopo kedahe Dfik Guru?”

”Nggih ditrami mawon. Mugo-mugo nek wong ndukur pun mboten bingung, insya Allah saget noto. Sak niki aturan tasik amburadhul. Arep-arep sedaya nggih fungsi Komite Sekolah dan Dewan Pendidikan rodok ditemeni, mboten gae jeneng-jenengan thok. Sak no wong tuwo, sakno sekolah.”

”Lha nggih, padahal pendidikan niku lak barang lawas, kit jaman Mpu Sindok wis onok. Kudune tambah moderen yo tambah apik. Teknologi tambah canggih, tapi kadang ngilangno tata-nilai sing apik.”

”Koyok-koyoko ing ngarso sung tulada, ing madya mangun karso, tut wuri handayani wis hak dadi panutan. Cumak dadi slogan sing ditulis nduk tembok, mlebu pidato-pidato, tapi malah ing ngarso padha wuda, ing madya mulosara, tut wuri hanjegali.”

”Bender, kahehan slogan tanpa tuladha. Cumak mulang kurang ngemong. Kkakehan nyambleki kurang ngarahno.”

”Jane wayahe lungguh bareng, ngrembug sing enak. Gae rencana jangka dowo, jangka nengah, lan jangka tahunan sing nduwe daya guna lan hasil guna duwur.”

”jane.”

”Mbiasakno gelem ngomong yo gelem ngrungokno. Kabeh gak oleh nggugu karepe dhewe. Nek iso golek bendhere wong akeh. Wohe mesthi nemu bendher kang sejati.”

Plandi, 29 April  2015

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